I suffered from depression a few years ago.
I still suffer from self-loathing from time to time.
Since I had depression, I have been mentally incapable of celebrating my birthday.
As my birthday approaches, I find myself mentally attacking myself and wanting to die.
I don't tell anyone about my birthday.
It's important to go though the day without consciously thinking about it.
I don't think I'll be celebrating my own birthday in the future.