Last Saturday was my birthday.

However, rather than celebrating this day, I feel depressed every year, so I decided to spend this year at a hotel.

This was just an idea.

After enjoying dinner at the hotel restaurant, taking a bath and relaxing, I slept soundly in a big bed.

I hated myself so much that I only hurt myself mentally and physically.

I began to think, "Isn't the days when I hurt myself and force myself to be patient just a matter of not living?"

I don't really understand the feeling of forgiveness, but I hope I can change my mind.